When Sheep Bite : What to Do When Christian “Friends” Hurt You

 

When Sheep Bite_ When _Christian_ Friends Hurt You

 

It’s a tale as old as time, Christians hurting other Christians. I see it It’s a tale as old as time, Christians hurting other Christians the dark side of Christianity and no one is really talking about it in truth. The funny thing is Christians know the cure, if they are reading their Bibles, and yet they continue down the path of least resistance and sin. Jane doesn’t like Sue, so Jane talks poorly about her, then Jane realizes she has said to much about Sue and then BLAMES SUE for her sinful talk. Bob thinks Pastor Gary is prideful and instead of working with him and exhorting him (and even praying for him and asking God to work in his life!), Bob leaves that church for another one. The disobedience to Scripture and the vicious cycle of church hopping just continues on, day in and day out in Christendom.

What is a Christian to do? How do we become one in unity? How can we serve one another and love one another well? The answers are found in Scripture and a fresh, BOLD look into them is what believers need to be doing. If I am honest, I don’t like dealing with difficult people and when I think about them, I don’t always do so Biblically.  This blog post is written to myself in hopes that I will serve Christ and others better after writing it.

What’s A Christian to Do?

We can’t love others well if we don’t love our Savior well first. Loving Christ, above all else, is a daily decision and it takes a commitment to Him, His Word and a desire to obey Him. I can’t help but go to 1st John to exhort myself in this. I studied 1 John with a group of friends years ago and it made profound impact on me. It is a great book to help you learn to love Jesus and understand His love for you!

Love Christ well by repenting of your sins to Him. This is something we neglect to do. Why? Because we are prideful and think we are “good”. No one is good BUT the Lord God.  1 John 9-10 ” If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.” Repentance is a beautiful gift the Father allows us to do before Him through Christ.  Getting along well with others means you take care of your sins with God before you go after another Christian.

What is unity? 

Unity by definition is, the state of being united or joined as a whole. Being unified as believers does not mean you have to have the same convictions as others, but that the fundamentals of the faith are shared. We are unified in the gospel. We are unified in Jesus Christ as our Savior. We are unified in that the Bible is the infallible Word of God. We are unified in the things that are non-negotiable.

Unity in how one other dresses? No! Unity in what is appropriate to watch? No! Unity in how we view sports? No! These are personal convictions, therefore these are left to each individual, the Lord and His word, and personal sanctification. We must all personally work out our salvation, “in fear and trembling” (Phip. 2:12).  Be unified in the essentials of the faith! Don’t give up on a sister who just has not “arrived” to the same thinking as you on a non-essential. R.C. Sproul, a man who I respected greatly, smoked. I did not stop listening to him because I thought he was a reprobate for this. Smoking is a personal conviction, not an essential. Be patient with one another.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18 “We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Serve One Another and Love Well

I know it’s hard to serve and love well. I certainly don’t do this perfectly (just ask my husband and children). I want to just stay home, read a book in my hammock and let the world pass me by. This is NOT what God’s Word tells us to do. His word tells us to SERVE and LOVE one another. Don’t go hiding in your hammock!

Jesus is the example we need to follow. He was the PERFECT one and so we turn our eyes to Him and His Word for direction. Matthew 16, shows us, he felt compassion on the people, Matthew 23, He longs to gather His people like chicks under His wings, and the plethora of healing that He did shows His heart of service. This is what we think of first when we think of how Jesus served.

BUT sweet friend, those acts were just the tip of the iceberg. He served the greatest by His coming. He left His throne and heaven to come as a poor babe. He came to live, serve and ultimately DIE for you and me. He was the suffering servant Savior , in Isaiah 53, who came to serve us the most through His death and resurrection so that we might be reconciled to Him. (Please read that chapter in Isaiah and meditate on it. Can you or I even attain that kind of service to one another? The answer is no, if you are wondering, but we can practice that kind of service and love)

Love one another and “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2. Love is not just words. It is 1 Cor 13 kind of stuff. I honestly struggle to read 1 Cor 13 because I see myself in that mirror of God’s word and find myself LACKING! Love is not easy, but it is the greatest. As I wrote this, I was convicted of my poorly executed love to Christ and to others. It is really difficult to self-evaluate but does cause me to be conformed to Christ even more and for that I am thankful.

You may be struggling with other Christian’s right now. You might be feeling like giving up on religion and church, I understand your hurt, BUT don’t give up. Christ came for the ungodly, and that is all of us. We have grace for a reason! It is the kind of grace that pardons and cleanses us from sin because we are NOT able to love Christ without Him helping us love Him. We are all sheep that go astray, are you not thankful for the Shepherd who keeps you safe in His care and comes after you when you struggle or stray?

My friend, sheep bite, but the Savior calls you to love those who have hurt you, gossiped about you and ignored you. Pray for these people. Love these people, because Christ loves you.

Warmly,

Brandy

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, marriage, dating or friendship, I am NOT saying you have to be in it, I am saying to love them. Love sometimes puts up real boundaries to protect you (and children if you have them)

Click here to find help near you!

 

 

Why Are You Downcast, Oh My Soul?

There are times winter sets up camp in my heart and it seems as if I am in Narnia, where Christmas never comes. The bleak dark clouds of relentless sadness seem to wash over my mind as I battle with sin. The coldness of my heart toward the goodness of God makes my soul ache as I cry out to the Lord, to warm it once again at the fires of His Word.

I find these times of coldness to be extremely difficult and I seem to daily battle with myself. I know the truth, that God loves me, cares for me and desires to have me near Him, but my angry, selfish, sinful heart wants to push Him away.

Psalm 42:11 “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.”

How does one find their way out of the darkness of a downcast soul? We have to preach truth to ourselves through God’s Word! Personally, it is a struggle to open the pages of God’s Word when I have allowed the sin of despondency into my mind. The moment I open the pages of God’s Word I am washed over by truth of it and that, my friend, is when I see the ugliness of my heart.

Psalm 42 opens with, As a deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;

I am reminded to BEG God to help me to turn to Him and desire Him when my soul wants to turn inward into myself. I need to literally turn my mind toward Christ and the truths of His Word. For example, Colossians 3:2-3 tells me to “set my mind on the things above, not on things that are on the earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” A commentary I read said the word set can also be, to think or to have inner disposition, this disposition should point us toward he things of heaven. These verses should cause one to ask, What is taking my thoughts of Christ and dethroning Him in my mind? What situation is now greater than Christ? Why am I unable to see Christ through the haze of my circumstance?

I am thankful that the Psalmist in 42 was honest and poured out his heart. There is sometimes a perception that we as believers can’t be sad or struggling, but God’s Word gives us glimpses of others who have had moments when their souls were struggling. The Psalmist in 42 gives us the answer we so desperately need in verse 11. Our hope is in God!

How do we hope in God when we are personally struggling? I don’t know about you but I ask the Lord for it. God’s Word tells us, we have not because we ask not, and believe me, God gives hope abundantly to those whom ask Him for it.

I flipped back from chapter 42 to chapter 40 and read this, ” I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of destruction , out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the Lord.” I need to remember what God has ALREADY done for me! What has He done? First, He saved me from my sin and made me righteous because of Christ. He brought me out of the pit of sin and miry clay that had entangled me. He took my unstable self and placed it upon a firm rock! He put a NEW song in my mouth, a song of praise to Him, when before that my mouth was full of self and cursing. The first step for me to get out of despondency is to remember what God has already done for me.

The second thing I do to be renewed and is begin to be refreshed by His Word. I run to the book of Psalm and bath my mind in the truths there. Psalms reminds me to to praise the Lord, share my heart with my God and then to keep praising Him. They help me to remember how to praise Him when my soul is struggling. There are times where I just open Psalms and read it out loud because while I want to praise God, my soul struggles to come up with the truth. If I read the Bible out loud I am proclaiming truth about Him and praising Him and it brings healing to my bones.

Psalm 40:11 days ” You, O Lord, will not withhold Your compassion from me; Your loving kindness and your truth will continually preserve me.” Isn’t it wonderful to know that God preserves us and shows compassion on us when we struggle? I am so grateful to know He keeps and preserves me.

Friend, trust in the Lord when you are downcast and ask Him to lift your head! Preach truth to yourself and remember, His steadfast love is better than life, (Ps. 63:3) forget none of His benefits, forgiveness of sin, healing of disease, REDEEMED your life from the pit and crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion. (Ps 103) He Daily bears your burden (Ps. 69) He is your portion (Ps. 73) He is ready to forgive those who call on Him (Ps. 86) I could go on and on of the truth in His Word about what He has done and is doing for me and you!

Why at are you downcast, O my soul? HOPE IN GOD!

Be encouraged today!

Brandy

Resources for you if you are struggling with depression and despondency.

Biblical counselors near you

Booklet on Depression

This was written on an app so forgive typos and incomplete sentences. It’s hard to edit things on a car ride on an iPhone!

Our Help Comes From the Lord

Psalm 121:1-2 “I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.”

I am grateful to the Lord when I read verses like these. The Word of God asked a question and then gave an immediate answer to it. I find such hope and joy in that. Life brings difficult situations and hard realities when we may least expect them. You might be in a place where you see no hope and are feeling completely rejected. Take a moment to be thankful to the Father for His life giving Words in the Bible.

God’s word says, our help comes from the Lord. I was mediating on those words BUT as I read on I saw MORE to the answer on that helping portion of the verse. Yes, our help comes from the LORD Who made heaven and earth, BUT our helper, sustainer, keeper, is the ONE WHO MADE heaven and earth! He is the Creator. We must then ask ourselves, Is His power diminished that He can’t help us? Is He to weak? Is His arm to short? No and No and NO! He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Our situations can cause our minds to cloud out His glory and immutiblity and think, He is not moving or doing anything, BUT He is. His plans and purposes continue forward and they are always for His glory! We must sit quietly in His Word and on our knees as we allow Him to let us be sifted and tried by affliction. Affliction should drive us toward Him and not away from Him. What a beautiful place to be in the care of our Savior when the winds of trial batter our sails.

Sweet friend, in the midst of today’s difficulty, whatever it may be, remember your suffering Savior. Remember what He did for you at the cross in bringing you salvation. He did that so that you could be reconciled to Him and that you now are in His care. Trust in Him.

Hebrews 12:1-3

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

1 Peter 5:6-7  Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,  casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

Be of good cheer knowing the Lord is your help,

Brandy

God’s Word is Refreshing

I’ve been preparing for a time teaching mom’s at CHAP home-school convention and I found some thoughts I had written some months ago. They were so encouraging to me this morning as I remembered the time I had spent in the Word before I penned these words. May they encourage you to be in His Word like they did me.

My dryness, my brokenness is freed by Christ.

Personal devotions and time alone in God’s Word bring the monsoon of refreshment to the parched land of the heart.

Isaiah 55:10-11

10 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
And do not return there without watering the earth
And making it bear and sprout,
And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater;
11 So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth;
It will not return to Me empty,
Without accomplishing what I desire,
And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.

When rain comes it replenishes the dry land, it soaks the soil, gives the roots a drink, which nourishes the plant, which produces the flowers. This is the same thing that happens to our hearts when we rain the Word of God down into it. God’s Word changes what it touches, God restores beauty and produces fruitfulness in your life. It does the work that the Lord has sent it out to do.

This in turn brings glory to God.

Be in the Word today.

Brandy

Drive Thru History: The Gospels

the gospels

Mom Friends!

I have come up with a great way to do family devotions for 18 weeks with minimal preparation for myself and I want to pass this information on to you. Hallelujah! I find it difficult to gather up the kids for a time of worship on a daily basis. It is challenging to find material that I can use effectively, I get side tracked easily, and lets not even talk about the kids “fighting” that begins when we try have a time of worship.

I have used, Drive Thru History: The Gospels, for our family time and it has been a true blessing. Dave Stott and Cold Water Media have put together a DVD series that is absolutely amazing, Biblically accurate, and engaging for the whole family. The series takes you through Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, so by the time your family is done wit the series you will have been through the whole life of Christ. I have 8 kids and I admit I did not do a great job giving my older children the gospel when they were at home. It is something that I am asking the Lord to fill the gaps in. This series, The Gospels, will help you give the gospel message to your children in a way that will help open their eyes and ears to the message of Jesus our Messiah, His earthly ministry and ultimately his Resurrection!

The DVD’s are 30 minutes long and the series comes with a small booklet in the center of it and is used as a springboard for your time of reflection. The questions are simple yet profound and useful for your christian walk. Each episode has Bible readings that go along with the DVD and you can pull Bible memory out of those readings.

Your usage of this series is dynamic and can be done any way that works for your family. I used the DVD on Monday, questions on Tuesday, Bible readings on Wednesday and Thursday and Friday was a time of review and conversation about the series. The Gospel’s made it so easy to get time in the Word and share about my love for Jesus with the kids on a weekly basis that I am overwhelmed with gratitude to the Lord for the time we are sharing as a family about Him.

Family devotions are vital for spiritual growth within your family. If you have never done devotions with your family, this is a great place to start. It’s never to late to begin to cultivate a greater love for the Lord in your home.

Email me or leave me a message in the comments and I will help you get a copy of this into your hands for $69.99 shipping included!

Onward and Upward,

Brandy

Encouraging Your Children in the Gospel

Hebrews 3:12-13 “Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today”, so that none of you will be hardened but the deceitfulness of sin.”

There are times as a mom that I have been frustrated at how many times I have had to tell my children the same things over and over. I feel like there comes a point where they should just “GET IT” and they don’t. This ranges from clean your room to have you done your devotions? I get tired. I get angry. I get heart sad.

God’s Word is merciful to encourage a worn out mom to do the right things. When I read the words, TAKE CARE, my heart melted within me. I knew I had not been taking care of giving the gospel daily to my children as I should have been. I had slacked off in the consistency and focused on the daily pressing needs of life instead. It’s so easy to become tunnel focused on little things and miss the picture God wants us to paint for the gospel to be laid deep in the heart of my children.

God wants us to encourage our children day after day in the things that will soften their hearts toward His Word and the gospel of Christ. If we don’t give them the daily doses of His Word to prepare them for the ups and downs of life and relationship with Him, we are missing it. Psalm 119:11 says, “Your Word have I treasured in my heart, that I might sin against you.” The Words of God are what will keep them from hardening their hearts.

Sojourning with you!

Brandy

Sovereignty of God (Written for my children)

Dear Children,

I am grateful for another day to live and move and be alive! Isn’t it a precious gift to be alive and be able to breathe in and out? I am blessed to serve the Lord with all my heart, mind and spirit! Life is precious! Sometimes circumstances or conflict make you want to give up or even want to die. You must fight these thoughts!

In 45 years, I have had many things walk through the front door of my life. I’ve had things that I chose to let in that were not good. Those temptations knocked on the door and I threw the door open for them. How dumb! How foolish, but I recognize I chose to let those life issues in.

There have been things that I did not choose to let in, but God in His providence allowed them. Diabetes, death, miscarriages, and early menopause are just a few of the things I have no control over but recognize that they are for my sanctification and for His glory. I’ve taken these things in sorrow, humility, and accepted affliction, because I trust God and He is my guide. I can not imagine these things without God by my side.

Can you all remember Disney World and Hannah getting diagnosed with diabetes there? The shock my heart felt that day. There was a numbness in my brain, BUT GOD took me through it!

Zach, do you remember the day I found out Abbie had type 1 diabetes? I cried on your shoulder. He used your tender heart to come out to me as I wept and gave me your embrace to love me through it. This is what God does for us too! He embraces us and carries us through life’s most difficult times. My heart broke for my baby girl, BUT GOD sustained me through it. Can you see His sovereign hand in this?

I’ve lost children by miscarriage. These anticipated ones were there and then suddenly they were gone. My womb was empty and my hormones changing and raging. My arms were not to hold what heaven had received, BUT GOD mended me each time as I rested in His sovereignty.

How can we not rest in a sovereign God? You can NOT walk through life thinking everything is by chance! God allows things. He has planned things. He orchestrates things. My mind and heart can be at peace knowing He has all things in His providential and sovereign plan.

Psalm 103:19 The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty rules over all.

Psalm 115:2-3 Why should the nations (or you) say, “Where now, is their God?” But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.

Bad things happen and come, and you MUST give them back to God who can cure and restore. Oh, how your weary hands will tremble. Oh, how your heart may try to rebel. QUICKLY! QUICKLY! Fall on your knees and cry out to your merciful God who stands ready to help you in time of need. Don’t go at it alone! Don’t pull up your boot straps, FIRST fall on your knees to the God of all mercy.  Children, God has not left you without hope or guidance. Seek Him and His help.

The verse that crowns this topic in context is 2 Corinthians 1:2-4 “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Be comforted by God, for He will firmly place you where you are secure.

Love ,

Mom

Dear Children,

I’m writing a book for my children this Christmas and I am finishing it up ASAP! The struggle is real to find the time to do this. I thought to share the first one with you today, maybe you can do this for your children someday? What a heritage we have to pass on to the next generation.

Dear Children,

As I have been thinking ahead towards Christmas, I have begun thinking about the gifts I want to give you. Each one of you need or desire different things. I’ve asked myself, “What shall I give to you this year?”

Having 8 children makes holidays lovely! I love the big, old tree in the middle of the living room. The smells of brunch after opening the presents and the dinner roasting in the oven fill the house with deliciousness! When everyone is here in the house the noise level creeps up as you all joke with one another, pick on each other and ultimately love on one another.

This year I decided to write you all together and pray for you and make this book. Your books are all different and they are tailored to you, but my letters and thoughts are for you all. You may ask why is mom doing this? Dear sweet children, I want to leave you a legacy, A legacy of CHRIST!

He is your portion!

He is your Savior!

He will sustain you in life!

He will keep you!

He can be everything to you, if you let Him.

Surrender daily to Him and He will guide and carry you!

I love you all, let my ramblings begin.

Love,

Mom

A Mom’s Daily Battle

IMG_2663

Lamentations 3:22-23  “The Lord’s lovingkindness indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

The morning has broken, the alarm has sounded and your feet are swinging to hit the cold floor. It’s the moment where you begin choosing the way your attitude for the day is going to go. We can begin one of two ways, with a heart thankful for the new day to serve the Lord or a heart drudging the day with an unwilling heart. I imagine you stumble to the kitchen and you switch on coffee pot, the kids come bleary eyed out of their rooms, and the bickering begins. (I’m not even kidding! I am in my kitchen right now and this is seriously happening!) One sticks out their tongue, the offended yell, “MOOOOM! She is sticking out her tongue.” I ignore the offended, who then chooses to retaliate, not with words but with a sneaky elbow punch.

***Freeze frame it in your mind now*** ( Excuse me while I switch to a first person account, because I am battling this out right now!)

I get to decide how I am going to respond on this one.

“God, help me!” I cry inside.  I had a fruitful, beautiful time in your Word and now these kids are putting me in jeopardy of sinning, or are they?

So, the quick answer is, No. They are not causing me to sin in my possible response. I get that responsibility. Seriously, it is on my heart to respond with an answer that is God honoring and pointing them to the Lord in how they should treat one another. This time I was able to not lose my temper, it’s early in the day and I am still meditating on my quiet time. My desire is that they day will continue in this pattern but I can assure you that it will digress at some point. I am stuck in this sinful flesh that I battle until my weary head hits the pillow at night. It’s then this sinner gets to rest and turn off her mind and tongue until the next morning.

We have a gracious God, who is acquainted with all our needs, our thoughts, and our weaknesses! What hope we have as we walk through this thing called, Motherhood, with Him as our strong tower. He is the one who can filter our thoughts and words for us as we try to saturate ourselves with His life giving Word. The Word is the guide for us in how we should live and move and have our being! Oh, that we would run to it in time of need or that He would bring to our minds what we need when we are at a crossroads of a response to others.

Proverbs 16:24  “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Lord, I am in need of your guidance on how I should respond to my family today. I am so easily frustrated and I turn to my flesh before I turn to you. Help me to be more like you in how I speak. I give vent to words that should not be said. Forgive me, and help me to point my children to you. Help me to show them, by example how to treat one another and speak words that are full of Your Word.

Delighting in the Word: Psalm 1

Read Psalm 1

Psalm 1:2

“But His delight is in the law of the LORD,  And in His law he mediates day and night.”

Psalm 1 is one of my favorites. When I read chapter 1, I am always immediately hit with the word DELIGHT. Delight is a word that speaks of a  high degree of pleasure towards something. Can you say you are delighted to read the Word of God?

There was a time in my life when I did not delight in God’s Word. In all honesty, there was a time when I would rarely read it,  and so it meant nothing to me. I would go about my life claiming Christ but never really knowing Him or desiring to learn more of Him. Once I bent my knee to the Lord, I went to a Ladies Salad Supper and the speaker spoke on how much she loved God’s Word. She held up her Bible and kissed it and said, “I love God’s Word!” I DRANK it in! My soul broke and cried, “I want to love your Word too!” From that time on I began to hunger after God’s Word and was learning to delight in the gift of God’s Word to me.

How do you meditate on God’s Word? First, you need to pray and ask the Lord to help you. (Matt. 7:8-9) Second, you need to read it! Read it slowly and carefully. Read it again. Read it out loud. Read it with a pen in hand. Memorize from the text you are reading. Study it with a good commentary so you can meditate with a correct understanding.

You will find yourself thinking about what you read throughout your day. It will become a balm to your heart and mind and soul. Once you start reading the Word of God and begin to delight in it, you will never be the same again. So dive in daily and drink deeply from the well spring of life.

Father, thank you for your Word. Forgive me for not loving it and cherishing it like I do other things. I get so tempted and drawn away by the cares of the world sometimes….. I don’t want to do this, but I do. Help me to love you, give me the pure love that comes from a broken and contrite heart. You deserve more love than I could possibly give.

 

Recommended Reading:

John MacArthur Commentary

Treasury of David, By Charles Spurgeon

90 day Psalm Reading Plan